I have, I suddenly understand, spent far too much of my life trying to fit in, trying to be part of one group or another, going along with other people’s ideas about how I should behave and be and live my life. Always reacting, always nervous, always insecure

Not any more.

It occurred to me the other day that every single assessment of personality/leadership style/potential I have ever taken has placed me in a very small and rare category. Instead of celebrating that and running with it, I have, until now, tended to apologize for it, hide it, pretend I’m just one of the cool kids.

Not any more.

###

My mother chose to name me Jennifer after the actress Jennifer Jones, because she was so beautiful.

Think about that.

I am not Jennifer Jones beautiful.

But I AM smart. I AM talented. I AM funny. I am kind and big-hearted and serious in my quest to be the best person I can be.

But my name doesn’t necessarily reflect any of that — or even an aspiration toward any of that.

Over the course of my life, I’ve tested out a number of variations of my name, which equated to my testing out a number of identities and personalities. I was Jenni with a star above the I. I was Jennie. I was Jenny. I was, when I was feeling the need to be mature and professional, Jennifer.

But now? Now I’m Two-N Jenn. Two-N Jenn is bad-ass. It feels right to ME, right now. Because, you know what I’ve learned after all this time?

I’m pretty freakin’ bad-ass, myself. I just never shut out the other voices long enough to notice.